Back in the groove

So I've been home for about a month and a half.  I am still struggling to get back in the groove and slide smoothly through the days. I am having trouble with motivation and remembering things. I hate forgetting meetings and lunches and when to put out the recycling.

I have days when I do lots of things and days when I do nothing.  It is hard not to compare this grieving period with the one after my brother died.  Then I was twenty and had no real responsibilities. Now I have to keep it together for my family and keep things running as smoothly as possible. I am finding it very difficult to let go and cry or feel any emotion at all. I am afraid that I will never stop. So I just keep plugging away with bursts of activity and spots of sluggishness. I guess I will even out one day.

One of the things that I have started is taking a picture of Littlest every school day. Some days we have long "photo shoots" some days only time to snap a few quick pics.

Here is my favorite so far...

Bits n Bobs

So I haven't been posting. I guess I got out of the habit over the summer. I also just flat out don't know what to write about. I really don't want to talk about the summer or my Mom or her death or the fact that I am still hurt and angry about the fact that many friends and family were and have been MIA during this whole thing or any of that. I would rather have my toenails pulled out than talk about how I [insert really whiny tone] feeeeeelllllll. So since that is really all I think about, that doesn't leave much to talk about.

I have been running around starting projects and not finishing them in an effort to keep from thinking. And listening to audio books. Lots and lots of audio books, that way I have to think about the book while I scrub the toilet and not about how much I miss my mom and how much I hate everyone else and how much this all sucks.

So in an effort to get this started again ( and honestly maybe actually learn to express some feelings now and then) here are the current unfinished projects.

I taught myself how to crochet a granny square, but I only made the one! I wanted to learn how so I could make this...

blanket for breezy. It is huge, and is going to take forever!

Made clips for the Girlies, I DID finish these! Oh, and I finished THESE too.

Learned how to make fabric rosettes for this...

frame that I am going to decorate and fill with black and whites for Littlest's room. I have been working on this for a couple of years now.

Made a Saints Nation wooden flag for my door. This one is waiting for the vanish to dry before I can hang it on the front door. It still needs something, I just don't know what yet. It will come to me.

Look close, there is a tadpole/frog on that leaf. We have been "growing" these all summer. This one still has it's tail.

And last but not least I need to attatch these beauties to hair elastics and headbands for my godchild.

Guess I better go finish some of these up.