Monday, August 26, 2013

School Morning Blues

Why is it that by the time I get all three girls on the bus in the morning I feel like I have gone three rounds with Mike Tyson? This just can not be right! It is less than two hours from when they wake up to when the last one gets on the bus and I am exhausted and ready for a nap.

Here is a typical morning at my house...

6:00 a.m. - Alarm goes off, jump out of bed and shut it off before it wakes Mojo. Glance back at bed, sigh, climb back in.

6:10 Jump out of bed in a panic, grab robe try to shut the door silently so it doesn't  make the slightest tiny noise and wake up Mojo. (Which is totally wishful thinking as my leap out of bed has usually jounced him awake anyway) Head to kitchen, start breakfast.

6:20 -6:30 Let the big girls know what time it is / that breakfast is ready. Get snarled at in response.

6:30 Wake up Littlesest as gently as I can if she is not already awake. Let her know breakfast is ready.

6:40 Remind Twinkies that breakfast is getting cold, get snarled at in response.

6:45ish Make sure everyone has everything they need for breakfast, run to room to get "dressed" for the bus stop. Get snarled at on the way.
Open door as quietly as humanly possible, creep around room and bathroom trying not to make the slightest sound (this is not even remotely possible for me, and if you know me at all you are laughing right now). Slap on some clothes and shove my hair in a ponytail, run a toothbrush over my teeth because this year we share the bus stop.

6:50 leave room again trying to shut door as silently as possible because the slightest click is heard as a BANG apparently.

6:51 check if Twinkies are ready to leave for bus (we leave EVERY DAY at 6:55, EVERY DAY this is a total shock!) Get snarled at while girls fly around gathering things, putting on socks and shoes, shoving things in my face to sign and telling me they need a 12 ounce can of soda for class today!

6:55 - 56 Somehow we manage to leave on time for bus. I am still not sure how that happens. Walk the block to the bus stop, get ignored by children but don't really care. Make chit-chat with the other mothers getting ignored by their children.

At some point the bus shows up and both girls come over for a hug and kiss before getting on the bus. This completely makes up for all the snarling! And the ignoring!  Because they don't care who sees them hugging their mom! Yea me! I head back for the hardest part of the day.

7:05 Turn off TV. Herd littlest to her room to get dressed. We have 30 minutes to put on a uniform, socks, shoes, get backpack and snack and if we made it the night before , lunch. Lots of time. Piece of cake because we have picked out the uniform we want to wear the night before.

7:15 Have tried on every pair of underwear in the drawer, none of which "feel right" Littlest is in tears because the only pair she wants to wear are the ones she wore yesterday and they are still in the laundry and "why didn't you wash them after I went to bed last night Mommy?"

7:20 Have settled on undies after being threatened with "I am going to get your Father!" Now crying because the shorts that go under the uniform jumper she picked out and tried on yesterday "don't feel right!"  "okay lets try another pair" "but I want to wear REEEEEDDDDD ones" "those are the only red ones we have." "They don't feel right!" " okay you don't have to wear those, lets try a different pair." " I want to wear RED ones!" "Those are the only red ones we have." "They don't feel right!" Wash, rinse, repeat....

7:30 Tears, mine, hers...

7:35 "You are going to miss the bus if you don't put on your socks and shoes RIGHT NOW!!!!" "But they have a bump!" "You have tried on every sock in the drawer, put some on NOW!!!!!"

7:40 "Wait! I forgot my snack!" SIGH "Well go grab something out of the snack bin" "I don't know what I want? what can I have?" "Any thing in the snack bin" "I don't want any of that, what can I have?" "Anything in the snack bin." "I don't want any if that, what can I have?"... Wash, Rinse, Repeat (Admittedly, this is my own fault because I forgot to have her pick it out the night before)

7:45 Exit the house in tears, hers, mine.

Waiting for the bus...

"Mom I need a tissue."
"Okay what pocket are they in?"
"I don't have any."
"I gave you a travel pack to keep in your bag last week."
"I took them out"
"Well if we go back in to get a tissue we might miss the bus, you will have to wait."
"I need a tissue."
"I don't have one."
"But, I need a tissue."
"Do you want to miss the bus?"
"Okay then."
"But, I need a tissue."
"I don't have one"
"But I need a tissue!"
"Honey, I don't have a tissue, maybe the bus driver will have one."
"But I need a tissue."
Wash, Rinse, Repeat until the bus finally, after about thirty years, arrives.

Collapse on lawn.