I have been doing a lot of thinking about the people in my life lately. I have so many many people who love me and support me and who are there for me though thick and thin. Even with their own busy lives and hard times they are always there to lend a hand or a shoulder or cheer me on.
So why am I so focused on the ones who have let me down? Why do I brood upon the people in my life who have taken far more than they have given? Why do I feel the urge to call them out? What I really want to do is to just get on with my life and honor those who are with me and just let go of the others. The ones who talk and don't listen, who never call to check on you but are always there when THEY need a sympathetic ear or shoulder. The ones who are nowhere to be found when you hit hard times. The ones who think an obligatory pat on the shoulder, short resentful phone call, or some other duty driven sign of attention is all they need to do.
I know it is because I want them to realize how very very hurtful their behavior is. I want them to know that they aren't the wonderful folks they think they are. Mostly these are the ones who showed up for my Mom's funeral or just gave me a quick call and then faded into the ether. Or even worse, the "family" I still haven't heard a word from three months after my Mothers death.
I keep seeing these "life quotes" you know the ones, "When people show you who they are believe them." and "sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people. If they care they'll notice and if they don't, you know where you stand." you know those ones. It has me thinking that rather than worry about what other people "show me" (because they think they are just marvelous), I want to worry about what I show other people. I want to be the type of person I expect other people to be, and just let go of the ones who aren't there and can't be bothered. I don't have them in my life in any meaningful way anyway so I really don't need to worry about their feelings or expectations now. I can't change people who see their own navel as the center of the universe, I can only make sure that MY OWN navel does not become the center of mine.